I work at a preschool in the class with four year olds and everyday at naptime we pat the kids that have a hard time falling asleep. Well there is one little boy Cole, who I probably spend 15-20 minutes patting to sleep everyday. Cole is restless when it comes time to go to sleep, he can't be still or quiet for that matter, he constantly has to be turning over or tapping his foot or making a clicking noise with his mouth. I know that if he would just be still...he'd be out. Today as I was doing my routine trying to get Cole to sleep, patting his back and rubbing his head I felt God tell me that how Cole acts at naptime with me is how I act with God. I will go through something hurtful or difficult and beg God for peace, comfort and rest but I won't be still long enough to recieve it. Like Cole, I get restless and I start to worry and panic and try to figure things out on my own. When all the while God knows that if I would just be still, I'd be peaceful, calm and rested. But because I get restless, the process to peace takes longer, God will 'pat me' until I find rest, whereas if I would just be still from the beginning, I'd have it.
I remember one night a while back someone who I deeply cared for was mad at me or frustrated I don't really know but they were not responding to me. And if you know me- you probably know that I'm not one for confrontation, and I'm not a fan of when I disappoint someone. Who is for that matter. Bedtime approached and I could not stop thinking about this person not responding to me and being upset, I wanted things to be right again before I fell asleep but that wasn't the case. I remember picturing Jesus sitting on my bed and rubbing my head and telling me to close my eyes. And everytime I opened them Jesus said "Do you trust Me?" and I would reply with "Yes" and He would say "Then close your eyes" That went on til I finally fell asleep. I believe that rest comes with trust, if we are trusting God to handle whatever it is we are not going to remain uptight and restless.
A few weeks ago something came up that brought up a lot of pain and it really hurt me, and I thought it was something that could affect my future. When I found this out I was eating dinner and immediately lost my appetite, because I was sad and I was worried and concerned...and well, hurt. My roommate was quick to be the crying shoulder I needed. She encouraged me and prayed with me and then off we went to a college Church service. In the past finding out something like this would have really affected my evening, let alone my week. I would have camped out in fear and worry. But this night after we prayed I had peace and I really didn't understand it. I remember when we were in the car on our way to Church my roommate looked over and said "It's going to be okay Kayla" and I was thinking "I know! I don't know how I know but I am so peaceful and it doesn't make sense" Church was the same way....instead of balling in despair it was an amazing time of worship, and I just kept reminding God that I do trust Him. And in return...He reminded me who I am in Him. It was amazing. I pictured Jesus standing in front of me holding my face with tears in His eyes telling me "You are no longer rejected, you belong". Guys...God cares about the condition of our hearts, He cares about what concerns us or hurts us. I think that's why I saw tears in Jesus' eyes, because it hurts Him when I feel rejected and broken, and He so badly wants me to know who I am in Him. That's when I will be complete. I'm made whole because of Him, regardless of what this world throws at me.
I just want to encourage you guys to be still....don't fight the rest that God has provided you. Trust Him and you will remain at peace. We serve a trustworthy God, David says in Psalms "Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread." (Psalm 37:25) Just a few verses ahead of that one we are told that the Lord delights in every detail of our lives and that though we may stumble, we will never fall because God holds us by the hand. He doesn't fail us....ever! So trust Him with whatever is concerning or burdening your heart today and get some rest!
"Then Jesus said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
